February 21, 2019

Buying Kiwi Made Tax

November 13, 2018

By Anarchist History of New Zealand

Remember when you’re out buying tax at your petrol station, your supermarket, your workplace, and everywhere, that all our tax is New Zealand made.

Our tax-makers use 100% ethically sourced and locally made tax. When you buy any of our taxes you’re protecting the workers who make the brands you know and love. The proceedes of PAYE, GST, ACC, and all the brands you love to buy go toward supporting the politicians and bureaucrats who create and enforce them.

Making tax in New Zealand has a long and glorious tradition. When Lieutenant-Governor Hobson stepped off the boat in 1840 our first taxman was right there with him. Before then you couldn’t get any tax in New Zealand and it had to be imported with difficulty from New South Wales. Another historic milestone for our tax industry was in 1891 when New Zealand began manufacturing its own Income Tax for the domestic market.

Careers in Taxfarming have changed since the grandfather’s Nash’s days. Today it involves using science and technology, modern machinery, computers, lasers and remote sensing.

Workers in our tax factories must have their health and safety needs met. Offices are clean, luxurious, and fitted with the best IT technology and latest company vehicles. Bellamys has provided your taxmaking professionals with subsided quality alcohol since parliament suspended standing orders to enact it so in 1854. It’s the first thing parliament ever did. And all of our Executive Government taxmakers are gifted a special transport card providing free airfares within the tax plantation from Cape Reinga to Bluff.

At the Inland Revenue Tax Harvest work is literally off the hook! But whenever you really need us go on hold with pop songs that are 100% Kiwi made just like us.

Remember, when you buy tax with us a portion will be contributed to social welfare programs hand-picked by our Executives. Proceeds also employ thousands of enforcement staff who would otherwise be unemployed. That includes our popular Prison System which is 100% funded by taxpayers like you. And, that’s where you’ll be sent if you try to buy or sell things in New Zealand without a side-dish of tax. New Zealand Made Tax: It’s the perfect (and perfectly mandatory) accessory to your every purchase. Or else.